One of the most commonly used self-affirmations in personal development goes along the lines of,
“I’m a great person. I’m awesome. I deserve this.”
I really dislike sayings like these. For starters, I don’t think we deserve shit. Everything is either given or earned. Given by chance, given by others, earned by you, or any combinations thereof.
When you tell yourself “I deserve this,” only 2 things could happen.
1: You don’t do anything. You just wait for it to show up, via fate.
2: You do too much. Way past the point when you should have stopped. You get possessive of this goal. You attach to it. You hurt when you don’t achieve it. You shut your eyes and become unable to see that this goal might not be worthy, nor even possible.
Rather than swinging between “I don’t deserve this” and “I deserve this,” try something else: Find genuine interest.
Don’t say, “I deserve this.”
Try saying, “This looks worthwhile. Let’s give it an earnest shot. If it works, that’s awesome! But even if it doesn’t work out, I at least enjoyed the process and learned a couple things.”
Notice I completely left out any self-judgment?
If you say “I’m awesome, I deserve this,” then does that mean you’re not awesome if you fail? Hell no. You can still be awesome. What I’m saying is, in terms of doing things in your life, it doesn’t matter if you’re awesome or not. There’s no point in tying your self-esteem to your goals at all! Better yet, don’t even have goals. Do things because you want to.
Here it is again:
“This looks worthwhile. Let’s give it an earnest shot. If it works, that’s awesome! But even if it doesn’t work out, I at least enjoyed the process and learned a couple things.”
No attachment, and therefore no suffering. Open eyes to see, open mind to learn. And above all… joy =)